I sure have experienced the power of prayer! As I shared with you, Andy's birth mom just passed away on Feb 13. We were across the country in Pennsylvania when we got the news. There was nothing we could do but there was so much to get done. We needed to see how we could afford plane tickets when it's already tough to meet bills, who would watch our children, where would be stay in Idaho, when would we leave, how Andy would still keep business running in Arizona & this would mean a 2nd week of me not being able to work also.
Well, after we wipe away a million tears all we could do was pray. These were too many details for us to meet under such stress. On top of all that we were in PA helping Tim Kimmel with Family Matters @ this Weekend to Remember Conference. We had a big responsibility and we wanted to do a great job for his ministry! So, in our silence, we just prayed and prayed and prayed. God, we are helpless! We are away from what we know and where we can get help. All we have is you!! You are all we need and here are our needs. We need you, we love you and we know that you work all things together for good, so will you take care of our details? Will you carry us through God, this is way to big for us!
Here is how God pulled it all together in just 3 days! We were given a gift of plane tickets, Our children went with friends and our parents, We were on a plane the day after we came home from PA to Idaho. We were invited to stay with Andy's cousin Jim & Jill in Idaho and they also drove us around for those 4 days we were there. The funeral as beautiful and Andy & I were able to be with, love and serve his family in Idaho for those 4 short days! The pastor even gave the message of salvation during the funeral, it was just awesome! One of the greatest things also is that at the marriage conference, marriage were restored, rekindled, learned to pray, learned to put God first, learned to fight fair and learned how to respect one another. There were so many people who gave their life to Christ, people who recommitted their life to Christ and those who are choosing to allow the Holy Spirit to work and not them anymore!
So, our God is so big! He can cover the details in life if we give them to him! Walking in faith is a hard thing to do but it was the biggest gift we could have received at that time! It is an honor to pray for Andyduring this time, this is hard and I can't fix it but through daily prayer, God will do for him what I cant!
To God be the glory, even in the sudden loss of Andy's birth mom Kristy! This is a song that I sent her thanking her for giving Andy such a gift, life! If your life is touched by adoption, I am sure you will love this like us. It means even more today that ever!!
http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=47bfb48d43cd7a245beb
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Please forgive us....
We are so sorry for not having a post for awhile.
We were attending an incredible Weekend to Remember Marriage conference in Hershey,PA this weekend when we got news that Andy's birth mom has died. This came out of no where and needless to say, we are struggling with her loss. We found her 3yrs ago and have loved getting to know her and our new family, so it makes this loss hard because we were just building a relationship and loving it. We are flying to Idaho Tues-Fri this week to be with the family and attend services.
If you would, keep us in your prayers, we would be so grateful. Neither of us have ever lost anyone close to us, so these are new emotions and feelings that are coming up. Also, "grandma" is still alive and this is the 4Th child she will bury on Wed. Her other daughter died just 2 mo ago from brain cancer, so please life her up too, her name is Evelyn~
Thanks for understanding, we will be back to the blog soon!
In Him,
Nicole & Andy
We were attending an incredible Weekend to Remember Marriage conference in Hershey,PA this weekend when we got news that Andy's birth mom has died. This came out of no where and needless to say, we are struggling with her loss. We found her 3yrs ago and have loved getting to know her and our new family, so it makes this loss hard because we were just building a relationship and loving it. We are flying to Idaho Tues-Fri this week to be with the family and attend services.
If you would, keep us in your prayers, we would be so grateful. Neither of us have ever lost anyone close to us, so these are new emotions and feelings that are coming up. Also, "grandma" is still alive and this is the 4Th child she will bury on Wed. Her other daughter died just 2 mo ago from brain cancer, so please life her up too, her name is Evelyn~
Thanks for understanding, we will be back to the blog soon!
In Him,
Nicole & Andy
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Day #15 - Love is Honorable - Nicole
I know that Andy loves when I seek his input about any situation. The other night I had a situation that I needed his guidance on. I asked for his advice and wisdom about a big decision that was brought to me. We were able to talk and he was able to shed a LARGE light on the situation. He opened my eyes and helped me to see the next steps that I need to take. It was so enjoyable to "talk" together. I do love when he is sharing his wise words with me. That is a way I can honor him more, bringing him into my world and allowing him to speak into it.
I struggle with independence and making quick decisions. I have a great group of women in my life that I am able to seek advice from. They are godly women and I trust them with my life. I am blessed to have these new friendships with these women but I can tend to rely on them vs Andy at times. If I disagree with their idea it's no big deal if I make a different choice. If I disagree with Andy I don't want him to think I am stepping over him if I do not go with his idea.
So, I know that I can honor Andy by seeking his wisdom or advice more often. I can seek his guidance, even on the little things. I know it will bring us closer and help me to be ONE with my husband! It will be a great example to our children too... So, once again, I have a bit of work ahead of me! I am excited to see what will happen! I love to seek out what the bible says, ask my mentor to guide me or even call a friend but I need to change up that order for some decisions!
I know I have not been the most regular with my "Dares" but every time I do them I really have an opportunity to search my heart and relationships...not only with God and Andy but all those who are in my life! It just brings me to a place of gratefulness for all the incredible people God has brought into my life!
I struggle with independence and making quick decisions. I have a great group of women in my life that I am able to seek advice from. They are godly women and I trust them with my life. I am blessed to have these new friendships with these women but I can tend to rely on them vs Andy at times. If I disagree with their idea it's no big deal if I make a different choice. If I disagree with Andy I don't want him to think I am stepping over him if I do not go with his idea.
So, I know that I can honor Andy by seeking his wisdom or advice more often. I can seek his guidance, even on the little things. I know it will bring us closer and help me to be ONE with my husband! It will be a great example to our children too... So, once again, I have a bit of work ahead of me! I am excited to see what will happen! I love to seek out what the bible says, ask my mentor to guide me or even call a friend but I need to change up that order for some decisions!
I know I have not been the most regular with my "Dares" but every time I do them I really have an opportunity to search my heart and relationships...not only with God and Andy but all those who are in my life! It just brings me to a place of gratefulness for all the incredible people God has brought into my life!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Day #14 - Love Takes Delight - Nicole
SUPERBOWL!!! I gave it up... Here is the story!
Well, I am the outgoing social one in our marriage! I love to go to get together's and meet new people. I love a new challenge and opportunity! I married the sweetest, quietest man who loves simplicity in life. He only needs a handful of friends and is often content with being home just with the 5 of us. He does not require entertainment and activities. (thus why it has taken Andy so long to jump back on 40Day, he has a lot going with work, coaching little league, on the board for little league and keeping on track with health & sobriety)
Anyways, I gave up going to the Sunday school class Superbowl Party! Not that I was extremely excited about the game, but I was elated to socialize with all the women and have our children meet some new friends from church. We just started this class 3 weeks ago and it is wonderful, Andy even likes it! I did get excited and as Andy would say "sell" it to the kids then say "Dad, do you think we can go?" Oops, bad idea, I should have talked with him before bringing up the whole thing at dinner. Andy is a great sport and said we could go! I was so excited!! Well, Sunday Superbowl day comes and his parents called and invited us to be with them and some family friends who were visiting from Idaho, who are like family. Andy mentioned that he is happy going to the "party" but to be honest would rather be at a low key event. I knew at that moment I needed to honor him. But what about the kids??? No problem, Nana & Papa have a new puppy and they will have fun! I talked with the kids and they were excited about the new party too!
So, I gave up an opportunity to socialize with about 30-40 people so we could be with family in a much smaller setting. We were together as a family and that is all that mattered! It went incredible, we had the best time watching our incredible CARDINALS play a great game even though they lost, we were still so proud of them! What did I learn about Andy?? Well, to stop & think before I make a commitment or decision. To talk with him first and give him time to process. To make sure I look at our calendar and not put too much on our plate in a week. To listen and actually hear Andy before I just do what I want. I also learned that Andy has great judgement, once again! He knows when things are moving too fast and to "slow this train down" as he calls it! He helps me to see the benefits of a slower pace and I help him step it up sometimes, we are a great match! I am glad I gave up a party to be with my family!!
Well, I am the outgoing social one in our marriage! I love to go to get together's and meet new people. I love a new challenge and opportunity! I married the sweetest, quietest man who loves simplicity in life. He only needs a handful of friends and is often content with being home just with the 5 of us. He does not require entertainment and activities. (thus why it has taken Andy so long to jump back on 40Day, he has a lot going with work, coaching little league, on the board for little league and keeping on track with health & sobriety)
Anyways, I gave up going to the Sunday school class Superbowl Party! Not that I was extremely excited about the game, but I was elated to socialize with all the women and have our children meet some new friends from church. We just started this class 3 weeks ago and it is wonderful, Andy even likes it! I did get excited and as Andy would say "sell" it to the kids then say "Dad, do you think we can go?" Oops, bad idea, I should have talked with him before bringing up the whole thing at dinner. Andy is a great sport and said we could go! I was so excited!! Well, Sunday Superbowl day comes and his parents called and invited us to be with them and some family friends who were visiting from Idaho, who are like family. Andy mentioned that he is happy going to the "party" but to be honest would rather be at a low key event. I knew at that moment I needed to honor him. But what about the kids??? No problem, Nana & Papa have a new puppy and they will have fun! I talked with the kids and they were excited about the new party too!
So, I gave up an opportunity to socialize with about 30-40 people so we could be with family in a much smaller setting. We were together as a family and that is all that mattered! It went incredible, we had the best time watching our incredible CARDINALS play a great game even though they lost, we were still so proud of them! What did I learn about Andy?? Well, to stop & think before I make a commitment or decision. To talk with him first and give him time to process. To make sure I look at our calendar and not put too much on our plate in a week. To listen and actually hear Andy before I just do what I want. I also learned that Andy has great judgement, once again! He knows when things are moving too fast and to "slow this train down" as he calls it! He helps me to see the benefits of a slower pace and I help him step it up sometimes, we are a great match! I am glad I gave up a party to be with my family!!
Day #13 - Love Fights Fair - Nicole
Time goes by fast! I am back on track today.
Healthy Rules of Engagement
1. No yelling
2. No Anger
3. No Always, Never (extreme) statements
4. No bringing up events/situations further back than 3 days- PAST IS A NO NO!!
5. No "discussions" around the children
6. If 1 of us asks for a "break" and to come back and talk, then we agree and don't push it
7. Repeat back feeling statements
8. Separate Facts & Feelings. Those are normally 2 different conversations
9. No "telling" friends our dirty laundry unless we both agree on an issue to share
10. Do not say "I am OK, when you are not" Honestly ALWAYS!
11. TIMING, is one of the biggest factors in a smooth discussion!
12. HALT: Check if one of these may be setting you off, if so, HALT the conversation! It will go south quickly! HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY TIRED
I think those are the main ones we TRY our very best to live by! Our fights used to last days - a week or more. My method of anger would be silence. Since I was quiet and he would yell, I just considered him to be the bad guy. He was the yell and that made him mean in my book since it would make me cry and scared. Well, my anger was passive aggressive and just as mean. It took years to look inside and see that I need to learn to NOT be silent but pick a time to talk and not blame, but share my feelings!
Healthy Rules of Engagement
1. No yelling
2. No Anger
3. No Always, Never (extreme) statements
4. No bringing up events/situations further back than 3 days- PAST IS A NO NO!!
5. No "discussions" around the children
6. If 1 of us asks for a "break" and to come back and talk, then we agree and don't push it
7. Repeat back feeling statements
8. Separate Facts & Feelings. Those are normally 2 different conversations
9. No "telling" friends our dirty laundry unless we both agree on an issue to share
10. Do not say "I am OK, when you are not" Honestly ALWAYS!
11. TIMING, is one of the biggest factors in a smooth discussion!
12. HALT: Check if one of these may be setting you off, if so, HALT the conversation! It will go south quickly! HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY TIRED
I think those are the main ones we TRY our very best to live by! Our fights used to last days - a week or more. My method of anger would be silence. Since I was quiet and he would yell, I just considered him to be the bad guy. He was the yell and that made him mean in my book since it would make me cry and scared. Well, my anger was passive aggressive and just as mean. It took years to look inside and see that I need to learn to NOT be silent but pick a time to talk and not blame, but share my feelings!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
