Quick update, Andy has been in bed for 5 days with the flu and now a horrible head cold, so I am continuing on and he will catch up soon! He can't concentrate much less read and take a dare right now!
Jealousy...Living in Scottsdale, Arizona we are surrounded by people that OWN everything but HAVE nothing. It took me years to see this. Of course, I feel trap to the envy cycle. I would want more, get more and then be in debt for all that I got. The cycle hurt us financially and relationally.
2 years ago, once I began to open my eyes to what really mattered in life my perspective started to change. It was not things that were making me happy, they were actually what I became a slave to. I was never satisfied and wanted more, trying to fill that empty spot. It was probably similar to an addiction. I would talk about ALL that others HAD. I would see their bank accounts overflowing and mine was just paying the bills. My new perspective began when I placed my eyes on Jesus! He was all I needed to fill me! I did not need a new shirt, a new something for the house or a new car... I just needed to place my eyes on him. It was hard at first to be honest. I was so self focused and being envious and jealous only made me more focused on me. Today, I am not a slave to the things of the world but I have to keep tabs on my thoughts daily. Since it was a pattern of the past, I know that Satan would love to creep in and steel this part of me again, so I will stay sharp and keep focus outward not inward.
With Andy though, I was not jealous. I trusted him and did not question him. We both let our guard down and that lead to the affairs. We have since put up some boundaries that we both follow.
#1: We do not build relationships with people of the opposite sex.
#2: We do not talk on the phone or email or text with the opposite sex unless it is for business reasons.
#3: We will not have a meal with someone of the opposite sex unless there is a 3rd party there with us (this way there is never a question)
#4: We tell each other everything that is going on in our life, there are NO secrets!!!
#5: We are allowed to ask questions if we ever feel uneasy about a situation and out of respect we answer very truthfully.
I am Andy's biggest fan! He has overcome alcoholism, heart attack, his affair, my affair, all my idiosyncrasies and has embraced fatherhood which has made him a great Dad! I could do better with expressing my excitement for him, so that is a challenge I will move forward with!
I loved destroying the bad list! It is so empowering, when I shared my testimony I did the same exercise with a group of women. Some cried because they wanted to hold onto the power they thought they had (I did for years) but there is more power in the blood of Jesus, we can do all things through Christ that strengthens ME!
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2 comments:
Nicole and Andy,
What an amazing journey you both have been on together as a couple and as individuals.
To read the words you both have joined to share is an honor.
You are teaching and helping people grow in more ways than any professor can in an isolated classroom or people going through life with "blinders" on today.
Hopefully your word will make them slide them off.
Thank you.
As you both continue the road less traveled together may you continue to share the beautiful journey together and in the arms of the ones you love.
All our love and support,
Erik, Tricia and Krystin
That was so sweet! Way to go Nicole!
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